Remember, honor, love...

"And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. yeah
There will be an answer, let it be. 

I enter this day as 34 years old.  My final day at 34.  I've gone through a life of reflection it seems, in only 20 months.  Heart heavy, tears flowing, sadness and happiness over and over. I've lost friends, gained new.  Found out more about myself than I knew.  Fear, hopes, dreams, failures, and successes.  At yesterday's Walk to Remember, I saw the pain and grief that was etched in the faces of parents with new losses and old losses.  I saw the smiles of rainbows, of children that followed.  I saw hope and fear in faces of parents who've lost, and are expecting again.  The wisdom that follows pain, and sometimes beauty also.  In spoken words, songs that are sung, and pictures made.  25 years of Walks, of banners, of people and families, of a common cause.

People of different cultures, religion, age, and gender can come together for a common cause.  There was no fighting.  No politics.  The teacher next to a policewoman.  The baker next to the counselor.  The Father next to the Hasidic.  Yesterday, I saw small children learn more about how the world SHOULD be than any school book or news show will ever teach them.  I learned more about myself.  That even after 20 months, my grief is still ok.  That time won't heal my wounds, but that I'll learn how to deal with them.  That a simple thing, like giving a little girl the last M&M cookie can make her day.  That an 8 year old boy feels happy writing a note on a balloon to send up to his sister.    I don't know what year 35 holds for me.  I know I'll feel sad, angry.  I also know I'll feel happy.  That there is a reason to hope.  It might be 2 steps forward, 1 step back at times.  I'll walk, just like yesterday.  To honor, to remember, to love.... to live.